I tend to be more like you, Legion. I need that freedom and trust of a partner that you describe. Ideally, what my partner does when I'm not around is part of who they are. I don't want them to change who they are because of their relationship with me.
Once I have a strong connection with someone, I like to share in their life. Whether it's the quote they read in the bathroom stall that got them thinking, the cup of coffee they like in the morning or the hot chick that made them melt on the way to work... it's all part of who the person is and what makes them tick.
That said, I completely understand where Nyx is coming from. I like what LR has said a lot. You two have different styles, it seems. And that your definitions need to be stated up front.
The man who introduced me to poly helped me come to terms with the "rules" I felt comfortable with. We had conversations about what he could/couldn't do without asking me first. I slowly grew to be more comfortable with the idea of him kissing another woman and then coming home to tell me about it.
Yeah, I admit, that's a bit of sarcasm there... but also somewhat in a realistic vein.
That wasn't meant as a judgement. Just an observation, (oh boy, here I go NVCing again). Whenever something sarcastic comes out of my mouth, it's because I'm not fully expressing how I really feel.
Good to see you are still on the forums!
Aww! Thanks. Sorry I jumped to conclusions so quickly in that thread.
ie: Please Understand Me. I think LR was referring to the Kiersey Personality Test: http://www.keirsey.com/sorter/register.aspx