Originally Posted by dingedheart
I'd say the day you said '"fuck it " and set out to find someone else was the day she was being moved out of the primary position whether you found anyone or not. Now its being said more forcefully or its being said the same way but now being taken seriously.
It sounds like if don't have a full blown room mate type relationship now that that's where this is heading. I've read here about other couples having such an arrangement so that's not uncommon. I'm sure others can comment on how that works.
After a couple years in this dynamic, feeling the way you did, were you able to do, (for lack of a better phrase) "building life together stuff" ...house improvement projects, retirement planning, buying vacation property,(time share) insurance, estate planning, etc. etc?? It was impossible for me to get motivated on any projects even ones I had materials purchased and in hand.
Does your child know of these other outside relationships the two of you have ? Or rather to what extent is her knowledge ?
Why are you pissed off? at the long standing situation (her BF) or the suggestion that you need to invest more time and effort into your marriage to maintain the hierarchical relationship your wife thinks you should have with her?
Probably right, dude.
I don't know, I guess that I don't really think that the "living like brother and sister while seeing other people" idea is polyamory. Sounds like a passionless-and-romanceless-relationship-so-you-get-it-elsewhere schtick. Just my opinion though. Maybe it's the supposedly long-dead mono side of me talking.
^^^ Yeah, that's probably the future. Honestly, I feel pretty bad that my wife wants to avert this future while I'm on the more apathetic side of things. She just won't give up.
My wife and I do stuff together. Our romantic relationship isn't completely dead but it's on its twilight years. Dunno what your story is DH, but are you planning on divorcing or what?
Our daughter has met our OSOs. I think that on some level, she knows that we are all more than just friends. Kids aren't stupid. If she asks, I'll be honest.
Me? I'm not pissed off. My wife is, but not me. I'm tired. World weary. Partly, I think that it's because I got transferred over to homicide a few years ago. It's a rough job. Definitely wore down my sanity.