Quite often vees are more than just a hinge with two arms. They are an emotional connection between all parties. Mine certainly is anyway. All y relationships in their many configurations are close emotionally. That's the way I like it and what I have always sought. It doesn't mean that everyone is one big pile of sex and partnership. Things happen as they happen and there is no pressure to fit in a box.
I am not suggesting to your husband that you stop all contact with her and that you never enjoy closeness again, I am suggesting that the pressure be taken off that your relationship with her be one of a partnership. Women can be very close friends and that is to your benefit if you share a man. To his benefit also. Metamour love can make or break a relationship dynamic. You have a huge head start. I think its naive to think that anyone can control who is in love with whom and stick to that forever out of fear that it might break it up. I just think that forcing something that might not be comfortable might make your relationship implode rather than strengthen it.
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