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Old 12-24-2011, 07:28 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Hi Freetime. I'm sure you know that you can't really prevent yourself from ever feeling fear or self-pity again. Your feelings will rise and fall in response to life events and your own thoughts. You can manage them, examine them, try to understand where they come from, but attempting to corral and keep certain emotions at bay will usually make them more volatile. "Whatever we resist, persists... and grows stronger." Better to allow for the natural ebb and flow of your inner life. When you let yourself feel what you feel without judging it (judging as in "Oh this sucks" or "I don't wanna feel this shit"), its hold on you suddenly loosens and the feeling dissipates. In other words, resistance is futile.

Besides, whenever we try and move forward in our lives avoiding something, we basically wind up shaping our lives around the very thing we do not want. We mold everything to make sure it is "not that" and essentially wind up living life as an empty reflection of the very thing we're avoiding ("oh, I'm never feeling that way again!" or "I'll be alright as long as I don't make the mistakes my parents did"), instead of an organic, fully realized expression of who we are and what we truly want in life.

Life cannot always bring us puppies, lollipops, and rainbows. All I can tell you, FT, is that you can enjoy what you have today without worrying that it will go away. Stand still in this moment of now and appreciate... everything. And if you face life like an adventure, knowing that not all of it will feel good, and take the approach that you are creating it anew each day instead of manipulating it to not be something else, you will have an authentic, organic expression of YOU - and that's where satisfaction lies.
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The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 12-24-2011 at 07:33 AM.
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