Ok. So I keep thinking-you two are on different pages.
You seem to be living by a completely different set of standards then she is.
Neither is "right".
Neither is "wrong".
But they are damn sure making it miserable for both of you.
IF you agree that it's an OPEN relationship (not necessarily true for all poly relationships) then no it's not unreasonable to expect that you are dating, meeting people etc.
IF you feel that kissing is NOT included in "sexual relations" per se but IS included in "dating, meeting people, getting numbers" that needs to FOR SURE be stated up front-but it's ok too.
In our case-that whole kissing thing-not cool. Maca considers kissing an exchange of emotion and caring-and that isn't something he's ok with being shared with ANYONE. I get that. So if I met a guy (or girl)-before it got to a kiss-yes I would feel the need to talk to Maca.
BUT if I have already said "I'm interested in this person and am considering pursuing something with them" in my eyes (I think I'll talk this one over with Maca tonight as I'm interested in his perspective) I HAVE talked with Maca.
So again-who knows what the deal is as far as what was right or wrong with the two of you.
Ultimately-you two need to COMMUNICATE-see my big long book of a post on the other thread.