View Single Post
  #85  
Old 12-23-2011, 11:41 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 604
Default My family

Well, let's continue with some of the rest that has been on my mind lately.

I have been shopping with my soon to be brother-in-law because we have drawn each other to be each other's secret Santa. And I wanted a new pair of trousers and some pullovers. Therefore he had to go shopping with me. During the day he directed the conversation on the topic of Sward, Lin and me and what all fo this was planned to be in the future. His first question was: “What about when you are going to have children? Do you plan on 'keeping' Lin around then as well?” I said that that's what we planned to do and that Lin was meant to be the godfather and so on. Those were our plans when we came across the topic some years ago when we (Sward and I) first discussed the possibility of having children. He went on about his thoughts of our situation and that it had stirred some hustle and bustle when we told my family of Lin's moving in and the neighborhood as well. Of course I was quite curious to finally hear about the reactions of those around us and I kept on carefully interrogating him while we had lunch.

That's what he told me: My sister was furious and disturbed when she heard the news. She needs certainty and routine in her everyday life and she has a strong sense of family. Her alarm bells went off when she heard that another man was about to move in with us. Was everything alright with Sward and me? What would happen if I was about to replace him with Lin? Why was he tolerating me doing something like that and moving the new man in of all things? To give a little more insight into the impact this would have caused for most of the people near to us: They all really like Sward. Really, really … Sometimes I am not even sure if my mother would stick to me if we were to separate -.-' It appeared to be a great threat to have a new person in the picture that none really knew. If we come clear about our relationship status, this will be a huge obstacle Lin has to face. They all think highly of Sward.

Therefore, her first reaction to this was going enrage and consult our mother. But, to my surprise, my mother told her to leave it be and let us do what we see fit. That it wasn't their place to meddle in our affairs. This enraged her even more and she went to see her soon-to-be husband. But he told her the same. He explained to me, that he had always thought that I was just different. That he fully believes in me doing what I want and how I think things should be. 'Regardless of the consequences?' I skipped in at that point. 'No, I know that you would always look out for everyone to be happy with the given situation. But you are just how and who you are. It wouldn't surprise me if you three got a ménage à trois going on.' I could hardly refrain myself from patting him on the back with appreciation. He was totally cool with the thought. But as we had agreed on not bringing up this topic before Christmas, I just said thanks for his good opinion of me.

But, in regard to my sister, all this was just a gut reaction. We felt some of it during the first visit of Lin and during the first weeks after the moving in. She gave him the cold shoulder and picked on every little thing that she found unacceptable in his behavior. This matter is pretty much settled already. She adjusted to our new living situation and is alright with Lin being there (even gossiping about a former friend when he was there and lend her an ear ). Most of this positive development is due to Sward being visibly OK with the things that are going on and the rest of my family not panicking about it.

My brother is totally unaffected by all that is going on, but I didn't expect anything else. He is a very solitary person and never gets involved in the matters of others too much. He is a student as I am and we tend to see each other randomly around the campus or when we travel to university by train. I met him once in the morning, when I was in a bad mood (the quarrel with Sward and Lin some weeks ago). The first thing he asked me: “What did your two men do to upset you?” *big smile on his face* - “My men?” - “How else should I call them? Those two that foolishly decided to live with you despite they ought to have known better?” Love his humor

Even my father, who seems to like Lin quite a bit has said something along the lines of 'Let the kids do what they see fit.'

After all this info, I was so relieved … I was feeling like cuddling my to-be brother-in-law. I know that the real deal may cause some uproar nevertheless, but all looks quite promising at the moment.
__________________
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote