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Old 12-23-2011, 09:27 AM
Sonic Sonic is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 31

Originally Posted by laz0rama View Post

the easy answer might be that i am simply not capable of being in a non-monogamous relationship. but i am not going to go there too quickly. i am trying so hard to delve into where these feelings are coming from, so far completely unsuccessfully. i am an anarchist, as is she, and so each of us remaining as free as possible (in this fucked up world) is very important to us. i am not free, but in this context my prison is the cop in my head that have yet to fully identify. i am trying so hard.

i have no money for a therapist, and so i am somewhat blindly seeking support from any sources i can find that are not confined to traditional views on relationships.

I feel for you. Mostly because I'm in a similar situation, though my partner is the one struggling and I'm the one who wants to get involved with someone.

And even though we've been talking about it a lot, and even though in a political level he feels it is right to let someone be free, it still hurts like hell when it's the real deal.

So I would suggest that you take things very slowly. In baby steps, and maybe negotiate on a timeline that you could follow (if that doesn't feel too much of a pressure to you). Like for instance you try to reinforce your relationship and mutual trust for 1, 2 or 6 months before your partner tries to engage in a relationship? So you would have a bit of a time to cool off, but then your partner would know that you are willing to make polyamory work.

Because if you are willing, you have to let her know that it is truly what you want, even despite the bad feelings. She must be struggling with this as well.

Maybe this check-up list would help?

I wish you all the best
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