Originally Posted by Hannahfluke
Do you really have a restriction that you can't kiss Leo but you can have sex with him? That was what I understood the original poster was saying, that she'd be okay with sex but not okay with kissing. That's totally different than what you've described your relationship with Leo to be.
Yeah, her situation is a little different than that LOL! She wishes
In all honesty I think agreements, rules, compromises or whatever are great for a certain amount of time. But even needing to have them means someone is holding back and that is no way to live in the long term. What's more important is knowing what we need and understanding the impact and possible costs of achieving them. If everyone goes into situations with that in mind then no one should be surprised. The biggest failing I see around these types of things is one partner wanting change and not being willing to accept that other change will likely occur.
From my perspective as a Mono...if you are going to sign off on your partner's desire to be physically intimate in any way, kissing, cuddling or whatever, you may as well accept the idea that you are saying ok to any form of intimate expression including all of the above and good old fashion screwing. Your just putting off the inevitable to say "you can do this, but not this"....we're all adults, adults don't "make out" like kids, we use every part of our bodies in whatever way we can.
Is your partner aware of possible changes if this boundary or rule is broken? Will he accept that possibility?