sounds like a mess.
What I hear-unsaid from both posts is so similar to what I heard for the last however many years.
I sense that you are a more "go with the flow" person.
But Nyx-she's a planner.
(check out "please understand me" do the test. JUST DO IT and see if the shoes fit).
It's not that two people so different CAN'T make it work (Maca is a planner and I'm a "go with the flow" person. He's a "what if'r" and I'm a "it will all work out in time".)
BUT it does mean that you both NEED repeat NEED to understand your inherent diffferences.
For Maca, the kiss thing and the coffee thing could have sent him into a tailspin. For me-ah well how interesting these opportunities that crop up.
But I love Maca, not some random person like me. SO if I got a call to "just go out" I would call him from my cell and say "hey joe blow called and asked me to coffee. I'll be home by (pick appropriate number)".
IN RETURN-Maca loves ME not some other random person like him. So his response needs to be along the lines of "THANK YOU for calling me I know you are such a fly by the seat of your pants girl but it really helps me if you give me a "warning". I can't wait to see you at (named time) I love you."
If he flies off the handle when I DID call to tell him-well the whole thing fails and in turn if this is repetitive the whole relationship fails. IF I don't make the call when I head out the whole thing fails and in turn if this is repetitive the whole relationship fails....
It takes both of you working to be understanding of each other's needs/desires to make a relationship work. IF you can't-then you need to love yourselves and each other enough to stop being lovers.
As Mono said somewhere-he will always love RP, but that doesn't mean he can commit to ALWAYS having THIS type of relationship with her. THAT depends on it continuing to be mutually beneficial (my words but generally I think this was his point).
"Love As Thou Wilt"