A scary confession
Since I am going to reveal this to my lovers tomorrow for us to make a joint decision, I will post out my thoughts here first, F prefers me to have all my "ducks in a row" before I come to him with something.
I dont know what to do. I found out my birth control - nuvaring - doesnt kick in immediately like I thought, it takes 7 days if you dont put it in right after your period. So I put it in Monday, so it will apparently kick in next monday, on the 26th. I figured out I ovulated today or yesterday. Ive had unprotected (unknown to me until today) sex with F, both last night and the night before and I know he will want to tonight. I can brush off and not have sex tonight, or get him to not come in me, but If I ovulated yesterday, the likely hood that I am pregnant is high, both times I got pregnant, I had sex the day of ovulation, I usually avoid when Im not protected, but I thought I was. Now I have the possibility of being pregnant, with about a 70% chance, considering that I had unprotected sex on the day of, no matter when it happened. As far as I know Everytime I had sex within 12 hours, Ive gotten pregnant. I know Ive had a few "missed miscarriages" since my cycle is so perfect, when it is off, I likely was pregnant for a few days, says my doc anyway.
I'm not going to let it happen again and just up the chances, but if it has happened I would want all of us, including T, to have a say in what happens. I could go with herbs or the morning after pill (you actually have like 72 hours), but I know F believes that things like that are wrong, but I also know he doesnt want kids at all right now, though he does in the future.
I already took herbs as a precaution once, and it really upset F, I didnt tell him what was going on and we ended up in a big fight about it. I feel so bad, I kinda want to go get the morning after pill anyway, and just not tell any of them, I know that the egg hasnt implanted yet and wont for like a week, so to me, that isnt abortion, but to F it is. Even not knowing if it happened and taking precautions to prevent implantation, like I did with the herbs (im an herbalist) makes F upset, but If I do get that positive, it will upset everyone, especially John, because he wants to have another kid but I wont because he wont be around. That is why I put in my ring.
I know I need to know what I want and have a clear argument for it and I know no matter what this is going to cause problems, even if Im not pregnant. Should I just shutup about it until I find out if I am or not, because even if Im not, it will cause a big upset. If I am, John will still be here when I find out. I can test on the 1st, my period will be due on the 4th, and John doesnt leave until the 14th
This is going to go to the main boards, I need some insight
- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband
M - John's girlfriend