I am one of those people who likes giving gifts to people and bringing them a little joy. As a child we were pretty hard off financially, so my brother's and I would wrap up our own toys and give them to each other, our grandparents, and parents. It was soo exciting to me the first year I could buy my boyfriend a present back in high school. It felt more special some how. Runic Wolf and I love exchanging gifts and I love the pure child like joy in his face when I let him buy a new Transformer.
While we can't afford big gifts, I love shopping for Pretty Lady and Wendigo, because I know that historically, they haven't gotten many gifts because of finances. I don't expect any thing in return. Last year, Pretty Lady regifted me her starbucks gift cards because she doesn't live near a starbucks and knew I would be able to use them. I gave her a coffee mug that I made for her. We also threw Wendigo his first birthday in 20+ years 2 years ago.
I do these things because it makes me happy knowing I make them happy. If it makes you uncomfortable, than be honest with her. Explain that you feel obligated to reciprocate and can't, which makes you uncomfortable. As for your husband, it would be unfair of you to ask that he not accept gifts from his girlfriend, though I don't think that it would be too much to suggest that he set a dollar limit, so that he could reciprocate in kind w/o you freaking out.
I wonder if perhaps your thoughts of jealousy are not that he has a girlfriend, per se, but that she is well off enough to give the sort of gifts that you would want to give yourself. My husband is not jealous of my boyfriend and my relationship, but rather that my boyfriend has a natural talent that he wishes he had and a certain charisma that my boyfriend isn't even aware of.
Last edited by BrigidsDaughter; 12-22-2011 at 05:14 PM.