And right now I'm realizing that the man that I want as a lover (we really aren't yet) - may never be - and I feel such utter sadness - I will keep talking with my husband - because there's nothing else to do - but talk.
Has anyone been in this place? Where they've brought up the possibility and had that door slammed in their face? But a change of heart occurred?
Right now I wonder if I'll ever be happy again. And I've been so happy this past year - even with tragedies - I've been happy.