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Old 12-20-2011, 11:32 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

You took a chance on love. It's what our culture encourages us to do. "Chance" implies the risk you will get burned, and really we always are taking a chance when we love because we can't actually look inside the other person's brain and heart and know for a fact that they mean what they say and are strong and good enough to follow through.

A few people find their perfect partner(s) on the first try. Many more of us, myself included, get burned a time or two (or three or more...) in our search for love. Including you. That doesn't make you bad. You didn't deserve this. No one ever deserves to be lied to and disrespected by someone they love, ever.

Were you foolish to trust him? Impossible to say. You took a chance. You will learn and grow from this experience, and maybe it will help you avoid a similar type of person in the future. Or maybe it really was impossible for you to have known. Some people have really good masks, so good they even fool themselves, and you just don't know until you get close enough for long enough to see what's really under there.

You will be ok. You can find another place to live in the same area as your current job, or you can move home and couchsurf until you find employment or you can take any number of other paths out of this situation, but you are free and you WILL be ok. It will be hard, and it's ok and normal to be hurt, but don't lose sight of the fact that you have your whole future ahead of you still.

Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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