Originally Posted by SoCalExile
Ah, gotcha. I can see how it would be confusing.
I don't think my wife actually understood that I want a discussion-only phase either. I've been trying to say that but for some reason couldn't make it come out as plainly as you did.
Part of the issue is that she has been thinking that since I've kicked the poly-or-not question over quite thoroughly for myself, and she doesn't want to hold me to monogamy, then the next step is opening that door.
Over the weekend she asked me to give her a "second chance" and be mono, with the idea that we could talk about poly again if I felt it just wouldn't work.
I dunno about that.
But we'll see. We're talking, and that's the important thing. We're closer than ever now, and we'll be in counseling together... soonish. Not before the new year, that's for sure. Decembers are always so hectic...
You guys sound like such a thoughtful, loving couple. I wish you the best of luck with counseling.