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Old 11-10-2009, 07:27 PM
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Case in point! I don't remember or read me ever saying that LOL! We truly are oil and water.
This is where I read it:

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I am vocal in my belief that people are better off having traditional relationship experiences before attempting a "serious" poly one.
When saying things like "people are better off doing x" that naturally implies that x is more valid than other options. I still don't see the miscommmunication here. If that's not what you meant, then don't use words that convey the opposite.

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
One of the reasons I think being in a poly relationship works so well for me, despite being mono, is that I have achieved and experienced all the normal hall marks of life in the way most of the people around me have experienced.
I am not wanting in those areas of my life.

My experiences have given me the ability to commit on a very deep and focussed level to what we are buliding. I'm not getting caught up in what my mono friends are doing because I have done that. It's that wanting that will be a big hurdle to many people entering a relationship with a married person in a lot of cases. Not all..but a lot.
That's great that your experiences have given you those abilities. I'm just saying that there are other ways to gain those experiences that don't need to be viewed through a mono-centric lens. And yes, you're saying "not all, but most", but I still consider it to be a narrow view. It is completely possible to achieve those hallmarks in live without being monogamous, or even monogamous first then poly next. I see people do it all the time.
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