So, the last couple of days I have been in an AWFUL mood. Nobody's fault.. It's just that time of the month and I haven't been getting enough sleep to help me hide the cranky that cramps and an inability to have sex always cause. My husband and I went to my girlfriend and her husband's house last night for dinner/a movie. We ended up watching Jeopardy instead, which kind of stinks for Keith and F, since M is REALLY competitive when it comes to trivia and I just do my best to undermine him whenever possible. It's a little game we play. While he pretends to get mad when I beat him to an answer, he is underneath the surface incredibly turned on by my intelligence. It's terribly entertaining to see him struggle with the dislike of not answering the question first and the appreciation that someone else can actually keep up with him. It always makes F happy, too, since she sits in between us and can hear all the times I mumble the answer under my breath to let him win. Keith just shouts out random words to try to throw us off, so Jeopardy marathons (we watched 5 episodes last night) are always a hit.
I think I am coming to terms with the more fluid relationship that F and I are going to have... I appreciate the time we have together and while I would love it if she devoted herself a little more to talking to me just to see how I'm doing, I hope I'll get over it. The boys are going to stay home this week so she and I can go get coffee and just hang out OUTSIDE of her house. I get that her dedicating an evening to hang out with me is great, but it usually is at her house so that we can watch their son, too. We go out shopping or to dinner or something like that without any children MAYBE once a month, so it's always nice to get some actual alone time that isn't spent with a child right upstairs. I guess I'm still stuck in my past ways where if a relationship didn't have long term potential, I didn't think it was worth pursuing. While this was fine for high school, I know now that even something that only lasts a few months can cause me to learn, grow, and enjoy myself.
F and M are going to Texas for Christmas to spend a few days with her family. It is her niece's first Christmas so I told her I expect lots of pictures! They are spending New Year's with my family which may be slightly awkward since NOBODY knows that we're more than friends. I hate having to censor my actions, but since F isn't comfortable with anyone knowing, I'll deal.