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Old 12-18-2011, 07:43 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,400

I have veto power over my husband's fuck buddies, and if my husband ever said he had really bad vibes about someone I was seeing, I would seriously consider his opinion. He has a really good sense of people but an occasional miss when it comes to ethics.

The examples: He met this girl online once, she wanted to experience SM play and he was looking for a toy. But she was married, not willing to talk to her vanilla husband about her desires, and I thought that was risky. Even with ethics aside, I was worried that Big Mean Husband might find out one day and come beat my husband up or something. I strongly discouraged him from playing with her, and recommended he suggest to her that she talk to her husband about what she wants.

Meanwhile, my besty had this boyfriend who's a real piece of work. Lazy, manipulative, emotionally abusive, the whole bit. My husband hated him from the first time he met the guy, whereas I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt because my friend was into him. Well, turns out my husband was 100% right, he really screwed her over, and left her with two more kids than when they met. He doesn't contribute anything financially, in fact used to eat her out of house and home when they were together and often made it difficult for her to feed her own kids. So if I would have listened better to my husband, maybe I could have helped her see the damage he was doing before it was too late. Or maybe not, but I'll never know.

So from those two examples, I'd say we're both good at seeing problematic situations, but both lose sight of that when we're personally involved. So if either one of use said "hey, this person looks like bad news" then I think we would both listen... But I also don't see this as "veto" power so much as "listening to the advice of someone whose wisdom you trust." Also, it's not so much about ending a relationship after it has already begun, but rather heading off a potential blow-up before it begins. Prevention is the best medicine!

p.s. I didn't read the article.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 12-18-2011 at 07:48 AM.
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