Originally Posted by redpepper
Why not share some of the theory with her in slow bits. She could do her own reading and researching, get support herself. We would love to meet her!.
She's been doing reading on her own. Exactly what, I don't know, but she isn't coming back at me with arguments about why poly is evil or anything, so that's good. Hopefully she's found Xeromag. I was thinking about steering her there.
I don't think she'll be participating in discussions here. She's rather more private than I am. It's a possibility, but an extremely distant one.
Originally Posted by dingedheart
You said she was holding the door open for you and you were afraid to go through it. It seems once people go through that door one or the other party can't or won't go back. Have those possible out comes been discussed.
No, we haven't talked about that. It sounds like you're asking "what happens if you start living poly and it simply won't work out, and going back to mono isn't an option." That sounds like divorce to me, and my goal right now is to avoid that if it's at all possible. Given that she is even willing to entertain the notion of opening our marriage instead of just kicking me in the crotch and throwing my clothes into the fireplace, I think we should just be exploring the concepts of polyamory and what that would mean to and for us, rather than talking about what might happen after we hypothetically open our marriage. Baby steps. I don't see the utility right now in talking about future states that would only emerge AFTER other future states we're only just starting to discuss.
Or did I misinterpret your post? I'm not sure we're on the same wavelength.