Originally Posted by fuchka
[...] letting each person be responsible for their own communication. If my partner says it's not an issue, I trust that it's not. I will be open to hearing that they have changed their minds, but I will not second guess the situation. Trusting each other to bring things up when we feel we need to talk about it. Enjoying the fact that things are way less messed up than we fear!
I have given a similar advice to rory some time ago ... well, lesson not learned yet myself as it seems
Yes, you are right, I need to improve that point but the tendency to worry goes hand in hand with my tendency to think for thinking’s sake. I love to think and I am practical, so the process goes like this:
Hmmm... boring, nothing to do? *brain switched on* Well, what do we have at hand at the moment? *skipping through the latest occurrences* Oh! There was this strange vibe I got in situation x when y told me z ... *endorphins are released* Great, let's dwell on this one for a while
Resulting in: Phy is happy that her mind is occupied and she has the feeling of doing something productively, because – who knows! - there could have been hidden problems under those faint signals Phy thinks to have received.
I promised to work on this. I am already at the point that I myself notice the pattern most of the time. It will get better!
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.