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Old 12-17-2011, 06:12 PM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I don't see Carob's suggestion as better or even simpler than yours. In fact, mentioning you have a boyfriend and a husband could be much more complicated, depending on who you're talking to.

I got married for the first time at 39, and it took me a long time to get comfortable with the word "husband." I like "partner" for that kind of relationship. But I am similar to you in that I do not take friendship lightly, and it's an honor to have someone in my life as a friend. Nothing wrong with that, nor with referring to your loves as friends. Nothing wrong with that at all. I think you explained your situation to Brian perfectly.
I found it really, really intriguing to read this. I thought it was just me with the obfuscation obsession. Re-thinking my critique of myself... woah, double critique!

I think what I did wrong with Brian, perhaps, was something I didn't mention in the original post. Just as I'd given my version of how things stood between C & me, Carob came to the car. The timing was funny and I was already feeling amused by how convolutedly I'd explained things. So I said: "Hey C, haha, I was just attempting to answer Brian's question 'What's the deal between you and Carob?' and I think I was being confusing as usual." It was half-joking but also half-serious, as in: I did feel a tad like a failure for not being able to state the record clearer.

If I'm more confident with my own ways of expressing such things in the future, it could improve things! Thanks for sharing your perspective, nycindie
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