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Old 12-17-2011, 12:08 AM
Jericka Jericka is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: California
Posts: 50

I don't care for the idea that just because I am not polyfi that I will sleep with anything that moves.

I have a couple of very nice relationships, and if someone wants to spend time with me they need to be worth a relationship. I don't really go for one night isn't the body or the face that is the primary reason that I am attracted, it is the PERSON, and getting to know people takes time. Time can be in limited supply, as I have people that I already want to spend time with. I may not be polyfi, but, what I do is hardly what seems to be imagined by some folks. It also isn't cheating, because I am open and honest with my partners when I do meet someone who could turn out to be interesting.

Polyfi isn't monogamy, though. Monogamy is supported in our culture. Two soulmates supposedly spending the rest of their lives publicly together. They get cake! And celebrations! And an idea of a one size fits all agreement to be faithful and all that.

Poly folk whether polyfi or not have to build their agreements more from scratch. It's a custom arrangement hopefully built around the needs and desires of all involved, rather than the off the shelf marriage available to monogamous folk if they so choose. There are fewer assumptions, in poly, though hardly no assumptions at all. There's just less of a road map to follow.

Here's some things people do seem to assume:
I'm not bisexual. That isn't why I am poly. I just no longer want a limit on who I may or may not fall in love with. I've been there, done that, and ditched the t-shirt.

I don't and won't sleep with just anyone who wants to fuck. I'm not desperate for sex. Really. For me to be interested at all the person needs to be as interesting as my friends are. Otherwise, why spend the time?

I actually don't have an easier time finding outside partners than my guys do. I'm picky, yes, but, my guys do fine on the market when they feel like it. They don't always feel like it. Shockingly, they don't feel like sleeping with anything that moves either.
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