I was not suggesting anyone press charges. I was talking about her responsibility for the mental health of the boys ...that's it. Whats done is done ...if punishment was the goal or their was a pattern or multiple victims and a concern it would happen to others I could see the dilemma someone faced with those choices. I don't think that's the case here. It sounds to me like she afraid what the "system" may do on its own....and that things may spin further out of control. And I get that...and it could be a legitimate concern. However I'm sure there are ways around that. But you won't know unless you ask the right people the right questions. Bottom line she'd be asking for help for 1 or 2 young boys...
All that being said I don't think the solution is to do nothing because it maybe embarrassing and hope it all works out in the end. I think she knows that and is she's just over whelmed right now.
I wish you and your family the best of luck in this troubling time. D