When I started seeing my boyfriend too much (stupid NRE!) My husband asked me if I was trying to get "payback" for all the years that he spent time with his friends and stayed out all night while I was working/in school. I honestly don't think I'm doing that, but I did have to take an honest look at my actions to determine that. If you're doing this passive-aggressively, it isn't good for you or your relationship(s).
Bisexual, Hinge of a Vee with a mono boyfriend and poly husband.