I could tell within the first hour of meeting her that she wasn't happy that we were seeing each other. With the pain I'd gone through being in that position I was sympathetic and while it hurt was willing to give him up as I could see how much it upset her and how her pain hurt him. In my head I was being selfsacrifing and altruistic so the not ever being able to see him thing was a kick in the teeth. I was very tempted to say some very unflattering things to both of them, barely managed to stay the bigger person.
So far the poly experience has been teaching me that at times I can be wonderfully kind and forgiving, others a completely selfish and mean person and the rest of the time trying to balance out both those sides so I don't end up hurting myself or others.
Until i find my balance again, I'll stick to the little joys - like a clean kitchen and a good book I haven't read yet.