"I feel like quite a different person now. What sort of complicates things is that I feel incredibly muddled up, when it comes to my marriage and my relationship with my gf. Since I've become so much more independent, I don't know if I want to be in a relationship any more."
Hi STBF...Congratulations on your changes! Becoming independent and loving yourself first is so important. It takes ALOT for someone to come out of the emotional struggles you say you have surpassed. But you didn't do it alone. Of course you feel like a different person now...you have two people that have probably been stable and emotionally supportive to you as you are changing and growing or evolving into a better person!
Speaking from the GF side of things (i am actually experiencing a similar situation now), i would reccomend to first and formost give some appreciation and acknowledgement to your wife and GF for their giving and support. Love heals. Sounds like the love you recieved from your GF and wife may have helped give you the strength to face what you had to face to work on your emotional problems.
I would maybe have a conversation about how you are starting to feel. If they love you and have encouraged you thus far to grow and change into this "new" person...i am sure they will do all they can to understand where you are right now, and give you the space that you need. To throw all of that away so quickly seems abrupt and selfish. Not saying that they are who you are supposed to be with in the future (near or far), but take the time to handle this re-evaluation with maturity and newly learned insight.
If you have learned anything from what they have given you so you could get where you are...is the act of giving. Give time and attention to you. Give the wife and GF respect and appreciate their help and care for you. It is in the giving that we recieve.
Best to you and your ascent out of muddleness.