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Old 12-14-2011, 02:20 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

What I hear is that you have discovered your own autonomy and independence so therefore don't need a relationship or two and that you want to go it alone. That seems extreme to me and perhaps you should consider finding a balance instead. We all need companionship at some point and you will be void of that if you say goodbye to perfectly good relationships.

I have two (well four actually) partners and I am completely autonomous and not the least bit co-dependent with them. I love spending time with them but have made sure that the time I spend is not out of obligation or because I have to. That is a balancing act as they also need to spend time with me so I do my best to weigh up where I am at and act accordingly. I consider myself independent and free to do what I want with some boundaries we have discussed at great length.

Congrats on your new found you... take your time and see where you feel in a year. This has been less than a year and you are still getting to know where the new you is at. Why not recruit your loves in discovering who you are? They might like that. Even get really inspired by you and excited for you... besides there is no reason why you can't set different boundaries and ask for more alone time and time to pursue other interests. We don't all spend time with loves, there is other stuff to do in life.

I do burlesque and sing. My partners are my greatest and most cherished supporters. They don't always come to see me, but its enough to know that they love me enough to step back and let me do my thing.... why? Because I give them tons in return.
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