It can be scary to do something against the grain, that mainstream society doesn't acknowledge or accept fully, something that is "odd".
When things get tough, you can question yourself - is it because I'm wanting too much? Have I tempted fate? It would be easier, maybe, to colour inside the lines.
If you follow the rules and fail, it's bad luck. If you break the rules and fail, it's your fault. Or so it can feel sometimes...
I love the poly community - by no means homogeneous, but sharing an openness to questioning where people draw the lines... taking away (or repositioning?) some of the safety scaffolding and seeing what (if anything) falls over, and how far we can now build up, or sideways...
Maybe we're tripping, maybe we are messing with the idea of what successful relationships are, maybe we're doomed, I don't know - but I'm glad to be here.