Besides the quick IN LOVE when I was 20 I had with my ex-husband, with my other experiences I felt love first, and then it developed into IN LOVE. I guess working that way is why I haven't fallen out of love with anybody, and why I tend to still love people years later once I feel it. I tend to assume that it's not "in love" until I know it's going to last, but it's interesting to hear that some people consider it the opposite way with the terminology.
Can't say I wish I had all those vivid emotions that surround NRE so I could experience it the opposite way. I fear hurting other people's feelings (as well as not wanting my feelings hurt) way too much, so I would do almost anything to avoid thinking that I was falling in love with somebody, acting on it/sharing the feelings with them, then realizing a few months later that I was wrong.
Originally Posted by hyperskeptic
For myself, I take being in love and infatuated to be synonyms.
I tend to look at that completely the opposite, as I have only felt that I was IN love with the two men I've married, and one other relationship, and since two of those things grew from liking to love to in love over time, I figure that is just the way I work. I have been infatuated with people occasionally, but that usually makes me feel a bit..sick inside, so I identify it as being an unhealthy feeling. I also only experience immediate chemistry with people every 2-3 years, and only a couple of those were people I've dated, people tend to grow on me instead, which also might be why I have the definitions I have of them.
edit: merged two posts so some of this stuff I just said is repetitive but so be it!