Thread: Falling in love
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:17 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Also...unless you came here and said "I fall in love quickly, and it turns out that I regret it because I make bad choices" the only big thing I'd worry about is if you don't make sure your wife understands this, or if you let it affect how you are treating your wife/other partners, when falling in love with somebody new.

I've only been "IN" love three times, though I've loved other partners. The first time it took three days. This last time (20 years later) it took 5 months, though I put on the brakes (via that hold button you speak of) after a couple of months until I felt it was smarter/safer to go there. I do remember when I was younger and dated more that I considered myself fickle because I could decide a person wasn't suitable to see anymore and turn any warm fuzzy feelings off. Generally smart decisions in retrospect, but I do feel like it'd be rewarding now to let my feelings just go where they wanted a bit more often without all the caution.

Sheesh, I think I'm feeling a bit envious, I'd like to fall in love a bit more often, you guys make it sound like fun. I haven't had much in the way of NRE in my life. I get too practical.

And if somebody was to fall in love with me quickly - well I think if they told me they loved me before it'd been a minimum of two months I'd feel a bit weird & skeptical about it. Three months I would probably feel like they had really thought things through and weren't going to change their mind, or that they weren't just a NRE addict.

If I had any inkling an early declaration of love from a new partner was causing behavior that was negatively affecting their other relationships I'd likely be uncomfortable enough to consider not seeing them anymore. Of course I suppose if I was falling quickly for them too I might lose perspective and be too focused on how awesome things were to be paying attention to metamours or my own partners feelings.
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