Thread: New and advice
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Old 12-13-2011, 01:46 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Grim, you were dishonest, and a cheater. Your wife did not kick you out but told you it's either her or the au pair (who very well could just want to be with you for a free place to stay). Now, you say you love your wife but you are so fixated on this other chick. You just want what you want and now are being totally selfish. What about investing in the marriage that you broke with your lying and cheating? What about getting back to a place of solid partnership with the woman you betrayed? Have you romanced your wife lately? Taken her out, allowed yourself to feel the depth of the hurt you caused her? Fix that shit first before you start telling yourself it's okay to move the au pair in so you can fuck around again. Either that, or listen to your wife, know she means business, and move out. She made it plain what your choices are. Time to snap out of your daydream and wake up.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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