Originally Posted by redpepper
Vetos are essentially ultimatums; my way or your new love is out!
I think that is what veto`s have...become ? They have a very narrow meaning now, based on the abuse of the term.
Until I came to this poly board, I wasn`t aware that veto`s were this horrid thing. Thinking back,..the only people I knew that used it, were in new relationships. 6 months and under.
Those over the 1 year mark, tended to just naturally work things out. I never knew of a situation where a 'veto' was used after a long period of time together. Once everyone hit the point of 'we're invested' ..I`ve never heard those types of ultimatums used.
My poly-type experiences before I came to this board, make me feel like I lived in some parallel universe.
General comment :
If the definition is a very specific meaning , maybe the OP just needs to use a different label. It looks like he has a wife who has some boundaries, and as she feels comfortable, she takes it upon herself to open up.
The OP trusts her, and obviously she trusts him. I`d hate to see that killed, all because of a distaste for a word, and the advice it brings.