Originally Posted by sevechten
Some good points here, and I'm discussing them with Wife as well. I'm not going to ask her to give up veto, but she's agreed to try to work things out first, to bring up issues early enough that there's still room to fix them before vetoing if at all possible.
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. If your wife and you are really as tight with each other as it appears to be, I don`t see a problem with this particular Veto.
Veto`s are *usually* used by those that feel out of control, and as previously mentioned, can be a type of deception.
However, the flipside of that, is there are people who have just as much fear of dealing with the reality of relationships ending, and try to make veto`s look worse then the actual.
One step at a time, looks about right to me, for your situation. Your wife has a history of coming through, and finding new milestones in this as she is ready. I think you are right to give her the benefit of the doubt.
The other thing to think about is,...your own abilities. Making sure you are straight-forward with both yourself, and those you get involved with, and it will help in the long run, as far as veto`s are concerned.
So take the time to learn exactly what type of scenarios could be veto`d. Also take the time to learn 'why' someone panics and calls a veto. Most times I see one person scream veto, and the other does as told, immediately. I think it would do people some good to 'sit on a situation' for a week or two, and see if they still feel the same.
Once upon a time, my hubby 'veto`d' a relationship I was in, and I was glad he did. I had become caught up in trying to 'make' a relationship work, long after the person didn`t deserve me.
Another time he asked me to end a relationship out of his own fear and panic. I said no. We worked through that.
So,..sometimes it really is in one`s best interest. Other times,..it definitely is not.
As for the point of the post.... 'screwing up' is going to happen. Some relationships just gel, and some are only meant for a short period of time. Don`t forget the feelings of all involved, and weigh your actions with respect for all parties involved...including yourself.
..and for the love of donuts, have FUN ! This shit gets far to serious !
Good Luck !