I agree with the suggestion of self control and respect. I don't see how distance would make a difference here other than perhaps more patience with the limited communication you say you have between you all.
In terms of respect, that to me means respecting boundaries, personality, the way they process information and emotions, considering them in decisions and arrangements, not texting your boyfriend madly every second of the day... that sort of thing. The thing with poly is that we don't get to act on our nre every moment we feel it. If we were single, childless and mono and starting a relationship then usually people are able to dive right in. Most of us are used to that, but this is not monogamy, you aren't single and there are a whole slew of people to consider... the good news is that nre can last longer. As frustrating as that might be for your partners it makes for fun times when you do get time to act on it.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM