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Old 11-09-2009, 09:51 AM
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beatbox151 beatbox151 is offline
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 18

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I'm 10 months in to a very committed and very "out publicly" poly relationship. The boundries are the same but they have become refined and better understood between us. Essentially our understanding has changed but not the core of the boundries.
I would like to explore other people's boundaries and get specific because they define the parameters of the core relationship. Everyone is different about what they expect from each other, or are they? I would think they are not.

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I'm seeing more and more posts of people who's spouse doesn't apparently want sex with them. What is this all about? I can't imagine being married to someone without physical intimacy.
All of the pieces with someone fits. All of my needs are met...except one. Now I could easily just say "screw it" and divorce. I could work on it, like I did for several years only to come to an dead end, then divorce. No, I chose to stay faithful, and stay married. I have tried to work with her on it and now, in light of our new arrangement, it seems secondary or even tertiary.

The fact is, she does not derive much pleasure from it. And when someone doesn't like much of anything, its kinda hard to please them. By the same token, the act with her seems more like a chore, so my enthusiasm is gone. Kinda sad, really, but not her fault. She just doesn't like sex with anyone and doesn't think about it much.

However, from this decision I made to stay married, I have now the opportunity to love whomever I want and have sex as often as I like with as much variety as I like. Not such a bad trade off, which is why keeping her happy and staying within the boundaries is important to me.
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