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Old 12-10-2011, 09:44 PM
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fuchka fuchka is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Terra Nullius
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Originally Posted by Mya View Post
Lately, for some reason, I've started to have these bad feelings, which I guess you could classify as jealousy.
I love how nuanced emotion can be. Not sure if this is the same feeling you experienced, but I had a similar "bad feeling" earlier this year, and it was helpful to me to 'decode' it a bit further...

For me, when a partner is getting friendly with someone else, I have these conflicting desires. One, is the desire for them to be happy, and safe, and not get messed with. The other is the desire for them to have the freedom to explore, make mistakes.

I found that when Carob started seeing someone else earlier this year, I had a feeling you could call jealousy... but it was more, well, loss of influence and fears around that. I wanted her to treat him well, I wanted him to have a good time. None of this was in my control, though. (In my situation, I didn't know the person too well but I reckon if I had a sense she was "bad drama", these small feelings of disquiet would have been harder to quell.)

It was a really interesting perspective for me, as I understood what Sage had gone through when I got closer to C... you relinquish some of the ability to care for this person, they become more vulnerable and they're going into a space where you might not be able to help them in the same way as you could with other things (for example, if I was starting a new, challenging job).

Yup, that is a feeling you could class as 'jealousy'... but in most cases it's helpful to unpack it further Sounds you've resolved this situation with JJ, but your story connected with me so I thought I'd share anyway x
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