Okay, it's funny, as soon as I start typing my concern, I can hear responses already - my first one was going to be - what about being able to speak freely and openly - but that's my goal, right? I know I have a lot of work to do along these lines with my husband (he comes from a long line of "no need to talk about its"). Maybe having him come and read (and maybe just maybe post himself???) would help that. But I'm afraid I would edit/censor what I say if I knew for sure he was reading (that's just me and I don't like that but it's what I do).
Seems to me you should have your husband and lover at least read on here!
In order for a poly relationship, or any relationship for that matter to thrive, it needs a honest base. If you would feel the need to edit/censor your thoughts and feelings, you need more open and honest discussion. Sugar coating your feelings for your husbands or lovers benefit serves no purpose other than possible deception. Speak freely and honestly but be open to listening to their feelings and concerns. Hell, you may be suprised and find they are thinking along the same lines!
Enjoy the explorations!