M does not play AT ALL unless F is present. His major turn on in those situations IS watching her with others (men and women, but preferably women). If they were open to playing separate, I would just ask F to come with my husband and I when we meet people and I would go with them when they do, but that isn't an option at this time.
I think you all have great perspective, and I've just been coming from it from an entirely new and inexperienced angle. I do see us all being able to return to 'normal' swinging activities once F and I are more comfortable with our relationship, I just hope her husband doesn't get too frustrated with the limitations in the meantime since I have no idea how long that will take. So far he is completely supportive and has actually been after me for months to be more open with her about what I'm feeling (apparently it is obvious to everyone but us when we look at each other lol), so I suppose I am worrying about something that may or may not even become an issue.
redpepper - I think I hit a wrong button at some point and it started two threads...
I sorry and thank you for fixing it!