Sure you can ask the men to slow down to adjust to this new and budding love. Why not? You can ask for anything... whether you get it or not is another thing, but if you state your case clearly and why its important then hopefully they will be up standing enough to do so. I think that would be a good idea between the two of you women anyway.
The thing I have noticed about envy/jealousy, is that if you try and just go about business as usual then it usually gets worse and becomes damaging even. Its better to get at the root cause (ie. fear, threats, insecurity) before hand. That way a lot of reassurance can be offered and trust can build that it will be okay and that there will not be an adjustment of connection and depth of your relationship, just some added fun for you both when you aren't together. Just like any new relationship, that trust needs time to build.
It might be best to put the swinging on hold for awhile, or at least create some very clear boundaries that indicate not doing certain things for awhile, so that trust can build and time can pass until things normalize a bit more.
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