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Old 11-08-2009, 03:08 AM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293

The relationship is great. I was afraid... again... surprise! If you haven't noticed, that is generally my hangup. I thought about what you said in an earlier post, and really thought about it. The thing I don't want to admit to myself, is that I cannot tell the future, that I cannot always predict was will work out best for me, and that all I wanted to do was RUN... away from what I am afraid of. Which to be honest is relationships in general. That sucks having to admit to oneself, that you are not as fearful as you thought you were! I am a worry wort - and generally go to the worst case scenario (I am SURE this is a result of my divorce, something I am constantly working through)

But - we talked, a couple more times... And like they usually do, the conversations went well - we both felt listened to, and made a decision to start talking about how we would shape our open relationship. I think this will help... we've been talking in circles, and its time to move forward, or else i wont face anything, neither will he, and then we will be stuck... and probably unhappy.

And Ironically (if you see the sharing success and happines thread started by Mono - I made a post on there) I felt elated afterwards, and at peace. So - what was I reminded of? To keep trucking onward until I ACTUALLY do hit a wall, instead of constantly looking for it, and wondering where and when it will pop up without actually searching for it.
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