Lila, since your husband is into research and reading about polyamory, I think it would be good for him to come here to this forum. Can you tell him you got some feedback on the situation and invite him to register and take part in the discussion?
Independent solo polyamorist seeking lover-friends willing to invest in friendship, companionship, and love, but without a need for partnership.
Never confuse commitment with exclusivity, love with ownership, nor sex with intimacy!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
~ Carl Sagan