Lila, since your husband is into research and reading about polyamory, I think it would be good for him to come here to this forum. Can you tell him you got some feedback on the situation and invite him to register and take part in the discussion?
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein