So, he asked you to consider it. Why does that amount to an ultimatum, i.e. it's this or the dissolution of the marriage? Is that how he framed it? Does he need you to make a decision right away?
Is he willing to commit to 1) putting the spark back in your marriage, 2) giving you time to process this new idea without pressure, and, 3) if you both decide to go for it, taking it slow and considering your feelings carefully at every step, not just getting everything he wants right away?
Poly is hard work and requires a rock solid foundation when you're coming from an existing mono relationship... does he realize this? Has he done any reading or seeking out of feedback (the way you're doing here) himself?
Sorry for replying with questions rather than answers, but it's hard to know how to respond without more context.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 12-07-2011 at 05:14 AM.