I haven't even finished reading your post and my back is getting up with your excessive use of the word "force" when it comes to including him in scenes. Bingo, first red flag for me. That and how it seems you are all about YOUR feelings and needs and not his at the beginning of your post.
It seems to me he is did/doing most of this for you and you are either not listening to him when he says he doesn't want to or he is not communicating that. Maybe both? It seems to me this is a matter of not expressing what is really going on for you both because you are spending more time playing with others than working on your relationship.
I would wonder if he doesn't just want to find someone that will respect his boundaries when he says "no." Without there being a consequence. I would really wonder about the amount of disconnect you both have from possibly spending way too much time doing BDsm stuff and dating. I see no time in here for the two of you to just hang out. If I had your pace (and have in the past so yes, projecting here), I would think this might lead to disconnecting permanently and getting burnt out of excessive overly sexualized experiences.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
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