Thread: Poly Question
View Single Post
Old 12-05-2011, 11:41 PM
BigGuy's Avatar
BigGuy BigGuy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: East Central Illinois
Posts: 118

Originally Posted by twinmommy123 View Post
Any tips on how to get over the anxiety that I know isn't really there?
Of course your anxiety is there. To deny that your anxiety has every right to be one of the emotions you experience in life is to invalidate yourself. You have every right to feel anxious because feelings are neither right or wrong, they just are.

As far as feelings go, anxiety is about as uncomfortable as they get.

So how do we deal with it?

Well, usually, you just have to be brave and face your fear. Bravery isn't the absence of fear. Bravery is being scared sh*tless and doing what you got to do anyway. There are veteran actors who still get stage fright, yet, they still get up there and perform. In most cases, when you face your fear, you become desensitized to them and they're not as scary anymore, but not always.

By limiting what your husband and girlfriend can do, all you're doing is prolonging the anxiety. The monsters are on the back of YOUR bus and no matter how fast you drive, or which way you turn, they're not going to go away. Someday, you're just going to have to turn around and say "Hi, you're scary looking dudes".

When you are anxious, do things that relax you. Meditate, pamper yourself, take a bath, drink hot tea. Whatever works for you. For me, its chocolate milk. It's kinda funny to see this big guy mixing up a glass of chocolate milk, but for me, it allows me to tap into my childhood when life was more serene and peaceful (yes, I am fortunate).

So, accept your fear as part of who you are. There is nothing wrong or shameful about it. Fear is your friend, your ally, your protector. But, sometimes you have to show your emotions who's the boss. Who is going to run your life? You, or your fear?
Reply With Quote