Thread: Poly Question
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Old 12-05-2011, 10:13 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

This is your issue. Please don't try to make it theirs in any way, shape, or form. Seriously, relationships work best when personal issues don't get imposed on others willy-nilly.

Have you tried to unpack your feelings on the matter? Most folks experience a bunch of emotions at the same time, all knotted up into a little ball, that then gets regarded as a single bad feeling. In reality, it's a bunch of feelings.

The thing is, where that knot of feelings is difficult to handle, each of the individual feelings involved is a good deal easier to handle. If you can pick apart all of the separate feelings, you can deal with each in turn and free yourself up.

I suspect there are additional feeling lurking there because you've already got a good response to the idea of societal norms and "I should be good enough" stuff. What else is tangled up with those?
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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