I do understand. I gave up my alone time with him Saturday night. Then I had time together with us all last night. It ended badly. He had pictures from another girl on his phone. B snoops because he's cheated and she can't trust him. We were upset. So we confronted him. It went horribly. He lied promising he hasn't done anything. He promised multiple times. We told him we knew. He finally admitted. He was pissed B had gone through his phone. It's ridiculous. She wanted him to just say why he did it, why he hurt us. He said it wasn't a big deal, sexting. Whatever. So we tried. She sat back, having done most of the talking. I talked. I tried, he opened up a little. I directed everything to him, she felt left out. But that's what she had done to me... So he was trying with me.
So she got butt sore and left. So he was tried and had work early. I was pissed she left, especially when it was going better and was going to be okay. I didn't follow her which is what she wanted. I was the only one responding to her texts so she got pissed more at him. T and I had sex. It was wrong in retrospect but it just sorta happened. She came back and went ballistic. She cut herself. I tried to cover her arms with a towel. T just got ready to leave. I tried to let her know I was sorry and wrong. She ignored me, I didn't matter. She talked to him. She yelled she hated us and slapped him. He was through because of it. He walked away. She followed demanding he say something. He did owe her that. They got into my apartment hallway. They started shoving each other. He broke her glasses and pushed her down some stairs, 5 but still stairs. I didn't know what was happening, cleaning up blood from everything. I decided I needed to check, fearing neighbors calling police. Then I got to a point where I couldn't see them and I heard struggled breathing. I thought maybe they were making out. Like angry sex. I walked away. Then I heard doors slam. I went outside to see. She was following him as he was at his car getting in. She stood behind his car. he just drove forward. I tried to get her to come inside, walking barefoot in snow. I went back up, she followed. I cleaned her cuts as she cursed my existence. I gave her space, not leaving her side. He had left both of us. He hated me for letting her hit him. He lied. He does this. It's only a matter of time before he sexually really cheats.
She calmed down and has been by my side since. She still wants me. I wish she didn't. I wish she hated me like him. I wish she had hit me. I wish we all hated the others. She is reliant on others. He left her. I'm here to care for her alone. I'm not sure if I can do it, especially since I thought she was too much and pissed at her most of the time. His actions just disgusted me.
I'm done with him. I want to be strong for her. But not with her. I want to just put it all behind me. Both of them included.
I hope so much for you that this works, if that's what you want. It's your life. No one has any right to say whether you're doing it wrong or right, whether you should stay or not. It's all you. Do what you need to. I am.
P.s. before this all went down, I was supposed to have met his family for the holidays. She already knew them. She demanded I didn't alone with him... So I didn't get to meet them, causing me to be more pissed at her.
Me = needing self help