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Old 12-05-2011, 05:56 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 883

Originally Posted by nllswing View Post
Below is a message I recently sent:

Gosh, we are so, so different!

You have an interesting profile, which is not surprising provided that you are an artist. Too bad that guys who are on the science side can't make such interesting photos. In any case, I have been told that I have intelligence and sense of humor; not sure about the hotness part though.
Here I am looking for new friends. Among other things, I can entertain friends on things like science, law, languages (I know a few), foreign literature unheard of, and pretty much anything you throw at me.

If you are interested in making friends, let me know

You have an interesting nickname. While I have spent a bunch of years on things that sound like "chemistry" I had to look it up. The fist thing that came in mind when I saw it was "Saracen."

The answer I got is below:
Since you offered perspective to me on a different thread,( and seem to be trying to figure out how to approach women,..) I`ll offer you some perspective here.

Your reach out, one that would bore me, if I was the woman. Why ? It tries too hard to find common ground. I am a 'happenstance' type of person. Common ground just has to be there, like a light-bulb going off, and conversation flows easily.
It can`t be led, or forced. I can`t speak for other women, but I detest, someone trying to lead me into conversations, and then direct them.
When someone does that, I immediately know they they are ready to gear themselves towards what might appeal to me, rather then letting nature dictate likenesses.
Any communication is then built on this faux-platform of catering to what the other wants to hear.

I am not picky either. I don`t expect people to blow me away with their credentials, nor be awesome with grammar. I don`t ignore people based on being bored. I would respond to that message, but I most likely would say;

' Hey thanks for taking the time to reach out. I don`t really see any true common ground between us, but I wish you well on your search.'

I`ve not had anyone tell me to go fuck myself, after having said that, but have had people try and push the issue, saying I didnt give them a chance. I`ve said my peace at that point, and don`t get into a debate.

'True' common ground happens (in my mind) when you read a profile and they might mention a very particular restaurant, book, concert etc, that you liked, enjoyed, or saw. Maybe they have a expression that you use also. Whatever.
That 'light-bulb' happens, and you can't help but share.
It does not mean you have 'high match percentages' nor even a whole lot of similiarities.
It is merely a starting point that will either grow, or die-off of its own accord.

Disclaimer : I may be a chick of a different feather, ftr. I tend to do the approaching, rather then wait to be approached.

Last edited by SourGirl; 12-05-2011 at 07:21 PM.
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