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Old 12-05-2011, 01:30 PM
rungsoftheladder rungsoftheladder is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 15
Default A new week

Hard to believe that its been this many weeks since we had to move from the wondering part of our marriage to the, slap, time to make some decisions and actually talk part!

It really is like the roller coaster so many people mention! There are some seriously high ups to talking, and learning and communicating better than ever before! I hope this is only the beginning of our improved communication.

There are still downs. When communication is going well, the little things that ARE missed become important. Opening up means being open to being hurt, and some of the misunderstandings hurt; at least until we are able to talk and better understand what the other said.

There are no big events to speak about; I've emailed and checked in with my friend. She has been moving into a more normal, probably mono, relationship that she truly deserves. My wife has been doing some reading, some writing and making the appointments she needs to make. She's still chatting and maybe flirting with him, but the three of us met for a beer or two the other night and I still consider him a good friend. He and I need to talk so we're on the same page with the past, but that will come when he's comfortable.

I've started my counseling and that went well the first time. I can't wait to blow the counselors mind with the poly/nm discussions.

I say poly/nm because we still aren't quite sure where on the spectrum we are going to finally rest. If the spectrum ranges from swinging through open marriage to poly (and it may not), then we will probably come in somewhere in the middle.

Based on what we've talked about and read, we don't want casual sex, but we don't want the kind of relationship that we have with each other. Friendships and chemistry that may or may not include sex seem like the path we are going. Is this still poly? I think it is. After watching Sister Wives last night, it makes me wonder.

But, more reading, more writing, more Pedestrian Polyamory Podcasts (those are great), and more talking with my wife seems to be the immediate future for me.

Enough for now.
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