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Old 12-05-2011, 10:00 AM
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Phy Phy is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 610
Default The upcoming holidays

Sward is still certified to be unfit for work and home therefore. He and Lin surprised me (you were so right Annabel ) with a nicely decorated home when I came from university after my weekend curse on Saturday. Fir sprigs everywhere with Christmas ball ornaments in golden and brown and a handmade Advent calendar, which Sward prepared for me. We haven't decorated the flat for Christmas in all the years we lived there and I liked the look and vibe it gave off.

By the way, this is one point that Sward and I noticed: poly has given us back our care for our surrounding and the little things in our relationship. There has been so much, we just took for granted over the years and now we kind of cultivate every thing we get our hands on to become something to give us comfort and a sign for the other(s) that we love the way everything is right now. We have been horrible housekeepers or cooks or interior architects, because we didn't had the energy to change something. It had been still ok with us, because we knew that there was love and that we belong to each other and so on, but it feels so much better to actively work on things. Our involvement in our relationship and the others that are around has changed some things dramatically and for the better.

Another thing we have never done before, was the invitation of Sward's parents to come over to have an Advent coffee klatsch (I just stumbled over the word, you actually use the German one here, I always have to smirk when I find one of those little expressions). As I have said before, our flat is really small, doesn't have the best layout and his parents tend to prefer to be with his sister, because of their grandchild there. His mother is overweight and it's really difficult for her to sit on our couch or chairs.

And as I have as well already mentioned, Lin is the creative one. Due to that, he worked out how to improve our flat. Colour, furnishing and room layout, he made everything new and it looked great on the PC. He got some architecture program, with which he was able to design furniture, walls, windows, doors and all that stuff. He is really skilled with those things.

Sward's parents visited us yesterday. We had been able to do some little changes according to Lin's plans already and the flat looked much better. (We will renovate the study and the living room in January, but we have to wait with the renewal of the kitchen, this will cost too much at the moment.) After my first stumbling steps into the vast world of cooking, I became quite the passionate cook and discovert that my taste is my best adviser. It seems that I am starting to really like it. This was quite new to Sward's mother. She always didn't think much of my abilities to be a 'good wife' in her quite traditional sense of the word. But after some quarrels we fought because of our personal incompatibilities we managed to reach an understanding. She accepted that I was quite different from her.

But when they came in and I was standing in the kitchen, preparing the last muffins, I saw the spark in her eyes when she said “Hey, the great chef at work.” Sward had told her about the changes that have been going on in our daily life (not about the relationship between Lin and I) and he seems to have been enthusiastic about them. He showed them around later on and I was smiling all the time, because it was some pride to be spotted in his behavior when he showed them the bedroom we had already renovated and the cellar storeroom and the overall changes in the flat.

His mother has had some guessing going on, it was obvious when the talk came to the reactions of the closer family and neighborhood (his parents live in a really small village) to Lin moving in with us, but she said resolutely: “Everyone has to know what he wants to do for himself.” She made this example clear with another couple we know, where the woman emancipated herself quite a bit, worked full shifts again (earning more money as her husband as a result) and stayed awake partying since three o'clock in the morning. She said that it's not her place to judge that, and that she declined the numerous offers to be part of the gossiping going on in the village. I hope she is able to see our situation in the same light. But I think it will be something different if it is the own son. She is one of those overprotecting mothers.

Lin has been a bit nervous because of their visit. But all went well, she even talked about some possible field of work with him. She seems to be concerned with his future despite all the possible scenarios that she is able to think of (and I know that she is skipping through them again and again, she tends to worry too much and has aplenty of time on her hands to actually do so).

My family will be visiting on Saturday this week. Lin has been invited to celebrate Christmas with us and therefore we all need to draw the person we are going to be a secret Santa for. Up to now there are my parents, my brother and sister with her boyfriend and us three for Christmas eve. Maybe the parents of my sister's boyfriend, but that's unsure. I am really looking forward to Christmas but am nervous as hell as well … I hope everything goes smoothly *crosses fingers*.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

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