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Old 12-03-2011, 08:47 PM
blitzbaby3 blitzbaby3 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: The midwest, USA
Posts: 39
Talking Entry 2 Continued.

B texted.

It's okay.

Maybe I'll instead write our crappy history...


This will be long... I have a bad time with writing posts, I usually hit a button and it'll all be erased. CROSSING MY FINGERS!!!

I started work about 6 months ago (HOLY COW TIME FLIES)!!!
I was engaged to L. L and I kind of fell out of love and we were just fighting. But I defended us because I always had to. My family didn't like L, stating he's unmotivated, which he is.
I was so stressed and hurt by L because he had lied to me about major things twice, each for over a year and a half!!! I felt betrayed. On top of it, he backed out of going to a college with me so I settled on the local community college to stay near him. Then in the summertime we were going to get an apartment together. We found the perfect cozy apartment. We could afford it together. But he backed out and he lost it to someone else. It was one of those apartments people aren't going to leave easily...
Then last year we ever supposed to get married on our anniversary... He backed out... He left me those times I feel emotionally. I finally left big commitments alone. I couldn't be mad but... I was hurt. He said he wanted these things. But when the chance came... nothing. I left like the world was spinning around me. I had family issues and I needed him and he left me on so many fronts. I was on a merry-go-round spinning round and round and he wasn't there when it slowed and the dust settled. i can only see this in retrospect.

So I started work. I pretended I was okay with everything, or well was disillusioned... and then I met T. Cue complications.

I worked overnights. We have to stay over our time sometimes because we have a huge work load with little allotted time. T works days. He comes in at 7.
The first morning I saw him I was embarrassed. He caught me leaning on a ladder with my boobs resting on a rung. He smiled his sly smile. ^.^ It was a nice smile. He said good morning. I removed myself from the ladder and returned his morning with a morning and smile. I'm friendly. It's my nature. That's all it was that first time. The second time was the next day and he came in early. I was walking with a coworker, bitching about how I lost my name badge (which is a constant battle for me, I'm so forgetful!). T saw me. We smiled.
The next time I saw him he said he tried to add me on FB... I was creeped out. I didn't know him. I barely add people unless I actually know them. I even joked to L about it. I checked and I didn't see any friend requests. The next time I saw him was a week later. I told him I didn't think he tried to add me, there's someone with a similar name, and to try again. Again I got nothing.
The next day I saw him again. I told him I still had nothing. He said my last name. I told him that was right.
I was creeped out. He knew my last name... How did he find it out before finding me on FB?* I told my friends, family, and L. But just said it was a little creepy.
*He remembered that I had lost my name badge. So he looked at a board that we have posted to get new badges. Which is sweet, in my opinion.

I didn't get anything still.
A few weeks passed until I saw him again. In the meantime L and I fought alot and I felt so alone, our friends had just gone off to college. I missed them and decided I wanted more friends. I wanted my own friends though. L and I had only all mutually close friends. I wanted my own group I had. I started looking. I decided work was a good place for friends. There are no females under 40 on overnights. It was going to have to be guys, which is okay. They were plentiful and within age range to actually be able to relate. I've always been able to connect to guys more anyway. I have more common interests. I'm a 'bro', my friends and coworkers joke. I became friends with one coworker already, Nick. L was okay with that. I decided T was okay to talk to. Because in the meantime he'd come into work early just to help me. He was sweet and we'd talk. We had so many common interests.
I got up the nerve to give him my cell number. I trusted him enough.
So we talked a few weeks via text. L and I grew distant because he started working too and getting meaner. One day L and I fought badly. I wanted out of my house and I felt alone. I texted T asking if he wanted to. It was cute, because he was like, Really??
He was astonished I wanted to ^.^

We went to the local orchard. He was very shy. On the way we talked about L. And his ex B. He still cared for him but she had left him on bad grounds (accusing him of cheating, when he hadn't). She left him to go down to Florida. He said she wanted him to buy her a ticket to come back, but he wasn't sure if he wanted her to come back. I did most of the talking. We fed the petting zoo animals. Then laid in the grass. It was nice. he scooted close to me. I didn't mind. We went in and got apples and food. I paid for it all, as he had given me a ride and I felt bad because he lived in a town 20 miles away. We looked at the furniture in the store upstairs. We talked and laughed a lot. I hadn't giggled that way in so long. We ate caramel apples. I could tell he was attracted to me. It was so very sweet and innocent. I hadn't felt good like that in awhile. On the way back to my house a couple hours later he tried to hold my hand. I said I couldn't I had L. And he had a girlfriend/ex-girlfriend thingy. He wished he had me.

Fuck. I wrote so much and got only so far (not far at all!)
I have to go pick up my roommate for work. Hopefully this gets published by the time I get back? So I can write more...

P.s. It's 2:44 pm.
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