And see.. I would be that way too. I would want the person I'm with to be secure in their other relationships and take the time to do that before we went further. Both for them... and selfishly for myself because I know that if their primary relationship is secure that we will be in a better spot as well. I really don't like the drama, so anything that can keep that away wins in my book!
Personally I just saw in Poobah's postings (one-sided as they are), a lot of unfinished work with both him and his wife. And not dealing with it doesn't help them, OR the people they involve themselves with.